two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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