i think my tv is drunk
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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