i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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