hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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