I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
