guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
