erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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