Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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