Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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