walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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