Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize