it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
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