worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
