We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
