Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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