This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
