the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
