it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
