No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
