Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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