you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
