he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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