he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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