One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
