My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
