Your mouth is God's brothel.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
