ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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