if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Randomize
