3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
