i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
