Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
