I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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