I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
