Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
