It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
