you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
