i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize