I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
