I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
