Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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