He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
