Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
