I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
party gras won. party gras always wins.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
