i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have aggressive nipples.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
