if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
