wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize