I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
