Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
