Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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