Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
