chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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