you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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